A Moment With Pastor Fred
Marriage is a gift. This past week Sue and I celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary. Committed to biblical counseling as we are, we have been the beneficiaries of it ourselves. Most of the time in our marriage and in helping others, the problem is often unmet or unrealistic expectations. What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it, Ja 4:1-2a NIV.
We all have desires. We call them expectations. And they aren’t all bad. But what happens when a desire doesn’t get met? Will I sin to get it, or will I sin if I don’t get it? I confess, my love for me gets in the way of my love for Sue – and God at times. I am a work in progress. Marriage is a call for greater sanctification.
usan and I try to give ourselves to regular confession and forgiveness. Sure, there are times when a mistake is made, and we apologize. But there are other times when sin is committed, and it needs to be confessed. Ruth Bell Graham said, “The secret to a happy marriage is having two good forgivers.” We must work at our love for each other. There are Christian marriages devoid of love. There might be appreciation and respect, but that is not enough. We are to incarnate Christ’s love for each other.
Yes, we are different. But we must embrace those differences with grace. Our marriage hasn’t arrived. We can’t coast or grow lazy. If you too are married, we all must work at a marriage that honors Christ.